For almost 20 years, I thought it was called the ‘side’ screen. It was today I found out that it was not. Watched the first day of the test match between India and Australia at the Adelaide Oval today. It was quite an experience with temperatures nearing 35 degree C and the harsh Australian sun.
In this weather and in these conditions, there was a time when there were two Australians at the pitch who had different sight screen requirements. The man at the helm of the screen was toiling throughout to adjust the screen bit by bit whenever the strike rotated.
As I looked closely, I noticed he had 2-4 different marks on the boundary board in front of the screen and he would adjust the screen accordingly. When one of the batsmen was dismissed, he dipped a cloth in water and rubbed the mark off.
I do not know why but this got me thinking. We need a sight screen in life. And we also need to continuously keep changing it, keeping in sight our goals and our focus. Many a time we will find it arduous to keep doing this, because it takes effort. But it is necessary.
Also necessary is to keep those marks in chalk, so you may rub them later. Nothing is permanent. What may seem like a life and death situation at this moment may not even matter some hours later. Yes, we need a good sight-screen. Fortunately or unfortunately, we are at the helm.
They say writing is like crying. It’s cathartic. You cannot bottle up feelings inside of you. You have to let go. I have never had a problem of letting go in my entire life. Until now, that is.
On the 10th of this month, I received my CAT (Common Aptitude Test) results and as the scores appeared on the screen, I was very happy to see a 95 percentile on the test for which I had worked my butt off. However, the happiness and excitement was short-lived as the percentile did not result in admission calls from any premier colleges. Suddenly the one year effort into getting a good score seemed pointless, worthless, useless. I could not fathom what went wrong and what to do in this situation.
I had heard people say that only when you long for something really bad, do you find it so difficult to accept that perhaps you will never get it even though you make the efforts. That is exactly what has happened with me. For probably the first time in my life, I longed for something, made the corresponding efforts that resulted into nothing. And now, those efforts and that longing are haunting me. So is the undesired result.
Life teaches you lessons, lots of them. But it sure does know which one to teach and at what time to do so. When you start thinking that this one aspect of life will never affect you, life puts you to test. As I struggle with my loss of expectations and the blurred lines, I realize this is a test. A test in letting go. I must. let.go.