Do you really ‘talk’ on the phone?

I was forced to ask this question to myself and everyone around me after a 

particularly harrowing experience on the phone with a ‘friend’, an ex-gym trainer and 

a very distant relative – who all, believe it or not, decided they had to call on a single day. Here are my experiences and 

trust me, none of these do I want to have again – 

1) Talking with a ‘friend’

The friends that I am referring to here, are not bosom buddies or people you cannot live without- they are

simply people who you have to live with if you want to have some amount of fun in your

non-happening college or workplace or whatever- someone  you are not particularly fond of, but someone

you can kill time with- do you know such a person? Haha.. imagine being on the phone with such a person

for no rhyme or reason just wondering why you are having the conversation in the first place. The other person calls you and asks you his/her queries, you answer his/her questions with some smalltalk and yes- that is supposed to be the end of the conversation. But implying this to some people seems to be the most difficult job on earth! HOW do you get off the phone with a friend who refuses to hang up? 

2) Talking with my ex-gym trainer 

The call begins with a – “Hello Maim, you haven’t been coming to gym lately” and hey! I cannot believe 

what this person is talking about because I haven’t been to the gym for over an year now..I explain that to him and the trainer shoots back with another dimwitted question – “So, you don’t exercise anymore” I am about to tell him to mind his own business and flatly say “No” 

And YET, he comes back with a “Not even a morning walk, Ma’am?” and I am all set to pull out all my hair..just how, how, HOW are you supposed to be really rude on the telephone – if it is an art, I am really unable to get the hang of it..because somehow I just cannot bring myself to shout or be rude with someone on the telephone!

3) Talking with the very distant relative 

Trust me guys and girls, this is the absolute worst of the lost. A person you hardly know or remember calls up, and expects you to recognize him/her over the telephone. The feelings that run through your mind are indescribable – you feel a sudden urge to slam down the receiver and then later, if the person calls back, tell him that there was a disconnection OR you deal and dodge the question to the best of your ability. The ‘formalities’ that follow always leave me squirming because I never know HOW to talk with a relative who I know so little about, who is elder to me, because of this inane fear that I will be at a risk of being asked a question about some other relative! Some other relative, about whom, too, I will have no clue at all.

Well well well, 

all this may paint me as an insensitive person but really, I am not.

The problem is – I can visualize the person on the other side and I perceive the voice as another human, another being, another entity, someone who you MAY bump into any time without warning and at that time, you would not want to be sorry about the manner in which you spoke to them over the phone!

My question is : Do you?